A Wendy Conflicted
by Niam
Summary: In Edwardian England, a 17 year Wendy Darling dreams of a future her Father thinks is unsuitable for a proper English lady.Could she find what wants in Neverland? Rated R for consensual sexual content, mild violence.
1. Plans for the future

On that second oh-so-very-fateful night in Wendy Darlings' life, the night that saw her return to Neverland, she had argued unsuccessfully with her father at dinner. The debate had been a familiar one-the topic-Wendy's desire to attend university. Her fathers position the same as always. The difference in that evening's outcome had been her fathers' lack of his normal patronizing politeness. Apparently he had finally shown his true colors on the subject.

" I have heard enough of this rubbish Wendy and I _will not_ listen to it again!"

He had slammed his fork down on the table as he spoke, rattling the other items on the dining table.

"I **do not** want to hear the name of one more university taking female students on. You are not attending any of them this fall, not next fall, not any fall!"

Her father's hands had both been clenched into tight fists at this point. His face was nearing a very alarming shade of red.

"I do not know what kind false encouragement your mother may have given you-" he glared at his wife

" But I assure you, Wendy, you are not going-**ever**-because my mind will not be changed."

He pushed his chair away from the table then and stood.

"The idea of any decent young lady wasting her time like that is- it's ridiculous and _unnatural_. Remove the idea from your head and do not speak of it **ever** again. My stomach has soured I'll be in my study."

As he moved towards the doorway, he stopped and turned around.

"And don't anyone disturb me." He said gruffly.

Her mother hadn't put her fork down during her fathers' outburst. She continued to pretend to be interested in her meal, not looking up from her plate. This had made Wendy's anger boil over towards her mother.

"I'm glad you can't even look at me. Now I know you were lying when you said he was 'coming around'. Well Mother, it_ isn't_ over. I'm not going to forget it. So why don't you think up some nice lies to tell him now-maybe you can get him to believe I'm coming around. He ought to like that!"

She, too, had left the room then. Climbing the stairs, Wendy wondered what her mother could be think as she sat at the empty table. Alone, because her brothers' educations were all deemed important enough for them to be away at the 'right' schools.

Entering her own room, Wendy chose to sit down in the chair by the window. She had hopes that the view and the evening air could calm her racing pulse. The view from the chair showed her London at twilight. Gas lamps were beginning to brighten the streets and glow in the windows of neighboring houses. It was atypical, semi-hazy kind of night, but it was also made a little brighter by the rising full moon.

Wendy could hear the familiar rumbling of carriage wheels on cobblestones. She closed her eyes and was soothed by their gentle rhythm.

_"What am I going to do? "_She thought as she opened her eyes_._

_"He really means it. He's not going to change his mind. And in two years I'll be married to some stupid bore_ _who'll be impressed by my menu planning skills…Married…"_

She hadn't managed to spend more than a few minutes with any man before her skin felt like it was crawling with-well with something foul .Her parents had recently tortured her by leaving her alone in the parlor with a 'special' dinner guest. When her father had told her he'd like her to wear her newest dress at dinner-well that was a giveaway that the 'special guest' was meant for her.

This one's name had been Edgar, and sitting across from him Wendy couldn't help but think his nose was the longest she had ever seen. At dinner he had discussed Horses. He spoke at length of the prizes won by the ones owned by his family. He then moved on to other prizewinners-and why his families were superior to them. Next topic was how important competing at the proper events was.

At dinner she had managed to smile politely a few times-apparently enough to encourage the longwinded Edgar.

When her father had suggested she show their guest to the parlor-she had, but then she walked right back out. Her father had immediately pushed her back though the doorway, whispering to her to try and be 'charming'.

Wendy hadn't felt like being charming. In fact she had felt a little _wicked_. Her father had later described her actions as vulgar. She had merely chosen to change the topic of conversation from horses to the treatment of the women recently arrested and imprisoned after a rally for women's' voting rights. Her father had intervened when he heard her begin on hunger strikes and the indignity of force feedings.

Her father stopped bring home The Evening Times after that. Both her parents agreed that the paper was 'too disturbing' for a young lady to be reading. They felt she should be exposed to the fine arts, classical literature and music- but not current events.

_So he had stopped bring home the paper, pity that hadn't stopped the world from existing outside this house_…

Wendy wondered if her parents actually thought she could be happy with the plans they were making for her. The 'right' clothes, the 'right' social events, the 'right' _everything_. It was all her father thought about. And she kept stepping outside those boundaries her father had for her. Like the boundaries of what were correct and polite topics for conversation. Like not wearing a corset. Like reading 'radical' literature.

But sitting in her chair that evening she didn't know that any of that would lead her to Neverland again.

Her parent's house was quiet. All three of its inhabitants in separate rooms, silent with their own thoughts. Wendy leaned forward and placed her elbows on the deep windowsill, resting her chin in her hands.

"_Of all that out there- what can I possibly claim for me? What can I ever do while my father still owns me?"_

She wondered how long it would be before she gave up….

_"I just can't stand it. I just can't stand it. I want to be out there-in the world and I'm not allowed. And it's not because I'm not old enough-it's because I'm a girl. I'm going to be a _lady. _Ugh! It's so unfair. I just want to be…free. I don't know…I just hate it here…."_

Her thoughts rambled on along those lines for what seemed like a very long time as the sky went from dusky gray to deep midnight blue.

A very faint, cool breeze drifted in through the open window.

" _Free like the breeze. Nobody tells it where to go, and it's free to travel where it likes."_

She could remember the breeze tickling the soles of her feet…she hadn't thought of that in years. The memory brought with it a surprisingly painful ache deep in her chest.

"It's been so long_…"_she whispered

She sat back up in the chair and laid her head against the soft velvet fabric. Her eyelids felt too heavy to fight with and she lowered them. As she drifted off, a peaceful expression replaced the tense one that had held her face. It was thoughts of Neverland and that long ago adventure that sent to sleep.

So it was that she couldn't know that the voice that came to wake her hadn't come through her bedroom door, but her window….


	2. Rescued?

"Wake up Wendy, wake up."

Some one was shaking her shoulder. Eyes still closed, she tried to shrug them off.

"Come on Wendy, let's go. Come on, wake up!"

She thought the insistent voice sounded familiar. It was telling her to wake up—but she hadn't fallen asleep had she? Slowly she opened her eyes. She was momentarily shocked by who she saw before her.

"Peter."

"Well, yes of course. "He said confidently

"Come on-you're awake now-let's go."

He took her hand and began trying to pull her off the chair. She pulled her arm away from him.

" Wait. Wait! I…I just can't go with you Peter.' She shook her head.

" I… I-why are you here?"

Peter frowned. Then he answered her.

"You dreamed of me, didn't you?" he pouted

Wendy searched her sleep-fogged brain.

"_Did I…"_ she thought.

The image then came to her of flying. That delicious, weightless feeling had surrounded her and she had soared. She didn't remember thinking of Peter…but Neverland had definitely been in her thoughts.

" I was flying." She said to him

" And now I'm here so you can really go." he answered very matter-of-factly.

" Do you really want me there? Look at me. I mean…Peter, I'm almost, you know, a _grown up_." she whispered the last bit to him.

"What are you prattling about? You were calling me! I heard you, loud and clear. Come on."

He began tugging on her arm again.

Now she was really wide-awake. Her mind was spinning with this dilemma. Could she just go? She didn't have much of an argument for staying but-

" But I'm too old to play." She said sadly. She was hoping he'd tell her she wasn't.

Peter rolled his eyes, but he didn't let go of her hand. Wendy took a moment during this silence to really look at him.

"Peter, are you older too?"

Peter frowned again.

"Do you want to fly Wendy?" he sounded annoyed.

"_That's an easy answer, but he hasn't answered my question. I don't think he can deny it. But if it's all so simple as just saying" _

_ "_Yes." She said to him

"Then lets go." there was mischief in his voice and he smiled broadly.

This time she didn't resist as he took both her hands and guided her out of her seat.

And in an instant he had them out her window and into the dark night sky.

"It's exactly like I remember." she said as the wind met her face. She found herself wishing she were barefoot…

" Of course it is."

"Nothing compares to flying Peter-nothing."

"See, you're having fun already." He winked at her

Wendy found herself laughing heartily.

" And you are still the one and only Peter Pan."

" That's right! Haven't changed a bit!"

" _Well, that's not quite true."_ She thought as she studied him again.

He definitely was older looking than before. Wendy thought that he might be almost as old as she was .She wondered if he was as blind to the changes she'd gone through as he was to his own. But what was beginning to truly puzzle her was why he had come for her again tonight. She now realized as she thought about it more that she hadn't thought about _Peter_ at all earlier tonight. She'd thought about freedom, and flying, and even Neverland itself, but not of Peter.

The air around them was become decidedly warmer. There was a definite note of sweet floral in the breeze. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the tropical air. It gave her a warm agreeable feeling. She decided that it really shouldn't bother her why he'd come back for her. It was just so glorious to be here, soaring high, re-familiarizing herself with all the amazing sensations that were sweeping over her….

"Are you happy I came to rescue you Wendy?"

"Rescue me? Why do you say that?"

"From that awful, boring place."

"Did I say it was boring?"

"_Did I say it to _you_?_" was what she thought. Wendy was not so sure she should have dismissed her concerns so hastily.

"Those people never let you have any fun. They sent all the boys away and banished you to that room that doesn't even have any fun things to play with in it. Even when they let the boys visit- you weren't allowed to play with them in their fort—"

Peter was cut off by Wendy's indignant voice.

"Their fort? How would you know about--you've been watching us?"

" You know I never wanted you to leave."

" I remember."

He had wanted her to stay with him forever. Wendy's discomfort was increasing. She wondered how many times Peter had come to spy on them…spy on her.

" We should be almost there, shouldn't we?" she asked him. She didn't fancy having this conversation while they were mid-air. She didn't have any desire to become re-familiarized with the feeling of falling from this height.

"I can't wait till we're back either." He said and squeezed her hand.

" I really missed you, Wendy."

Wendy's warm happy feeling was now completely nullified by a feeling of deep trepidation…Peter's coming for her was starting to look purely self-motivated.

"… _ I should hardly be shocked by his selfishness…he is the one and only Peter Pan, is he not?"_


	3. Wendy's House

Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan or any of J.M. Barrie's characters.

Peter's excited shouts interrupted Wendy's thought.

"Look! There it is Wendy! Can you see it?"

He brought them down almost to the ground. They were nearing a very tiny house settled on a grassy hill.

"Is that?" Wendy began tentatively.

"It's your house Wendy!" he answered proudly.

Peter set them down in front of the small dwelling. Wendy approached the window and peered inside. It was much like she remembered it, but it didn't have the look of being completely un-lived in for years either.

"_My house…"_ She suddenly felt such a deep longing for a home that was her very own. She wanted it so badly. It was something she couldn't see any possibility of having back in London. But here it was, and it was her very own. A place she didn't have to answer to anyone else in…unless…

" Is it somebody else's house now?" She asked him

"Nope." He smiled.

"No lost boys?" She probed.

" No boys anymore, they're all gone, just like you were."

Wendy still doubted him, and continued with her questions.

"And Tinker Bell?"

"She's around, but not here. She never really liked this place."

"And you? Do you ever stay here?"

"_Because if your visits to my house in London were as frequent as I'm starting to think they must have been…"_

He smiled. Wendy thought he might be blushing, but it was hard to tell, he was looking at the ground now.

"Well, sometimes…it reminded me of you. When you were here with me." He looked up at her and she saw the dreamy look in his eyes.

" Of course, mostly I stay at my other place."

Wendy sighed. She really didn't want to hurt his feelings. She knew she had to let him know how she felt about him and his apparently stronger feelings toward her. She knew there would always be a part of her heart reserved for Peter Pan. The rest of her heart though…. sadly, she knew she couldn't give that to him. She knew her initial reactions tonight had told her so. She needed to let him know that she didn't think they had the same agenda. She didn't want to give him the sort of harsh treatment she had. doled out to some of her potential suitors. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Peter, if I stay here in this house-it's going to be completely alone."

Judging by the look on his face, this was already a contradiction of plans he had.

"What? But you used to be there when I-we all slept. You were there to comfort us. That was nice wasn't it?"

"At the time, yes, ,it was very nice."

"And now? Not now?"

"Peter, I hate to say it again ,but I'm older and-"

"You're not grown up!" He said angrily. Wendy remained calm.

"Peter, I'm seventeen years old. Tonight I fought with my father because I want to study at university this fall."

Wendy could see the confusion on Peter's face.

"School Peter. University is a school-" She stopped because now Peter was frowning.

"Well, Peter, my father didn't like it either. He would rather I find a husband and marry."

"Married? What are you talking about?"

"My parents want me to settle down and marry. They would like me to act like the lady they feel I should be by now."

Somehow just saying the words here made her feel a little defeated. It felt like her parents had followed her here with all their plans and expectations for her.

"Well if they say you're not acting like a lady then that means you're not one!"

"Okay Peter, yes, that's true-but it doesn't mean I'm a little girl either .I mean-I want to make my own choices. My future should be mine to decide on. You brought me here to be something else I don't want to be either-Oh this just can't be what I –this is just so-!" her voice was showing signs of her frustration.

She sat down on the grass abruptly, shaking her head. She put her face in her hands, unwilling to look at Peter any longer. His childish stubbornness combined with his not so childish affections was proving hard to handle with calm and restraint.

" But … but Wendy…I thought it would be fun to have you here. I really missed you taking care of me. That's what I wanted again…like before. Don't you want to take care of me?"

"No!" she stood up and found herself shouting at him."

"No, I don't want to spend my time taking care of you! Not you , or anyone else! Fun? That's what you thought might be fun for me? And I didn't think you were like all the others? You're the same! No, you might be worse-because you tricked me here. I know you did."

As she spoke she gestured wildly with her hands. She was reminded it was something her mother found very unbecoming. She began pacing back and forth before Peter. She was ranting.

"At least I know what they want when they come and size you up! Size you up based on-what? Charm? Beauty? Can you play the part of gracious hostess? Will you be quiet and good, and obedient? They're actually impressed by a lack of opinion. Just agree with theirs!" She turned and glared at Peter.

"And you-you saw what on all your visits? _Rescued me._" She let out a snort.

"You want me to' take care of you'-have I got that right?' She said with deliberate sarcasm and mockery.

Peter looked more that a little hesitant to answer her. But he did, and his voice was much colder than it had ever been.

"You took care of me before. You liked it. You-you wanted me to be a man and have me to take care of. I remembered that all this time. I did this all for you. Why else? You know I never wanted to grow up-I still refuse to be…"

She cut him off there. There was no way she was going to accept this line of defense from him.

"You never wanted to grow up, right Peter? Well guess what? I refuse, too! I'll see if it works as well for me as it did for you. You can't even see it's happening. And I'm not going to play Mother or Lady or Wife for anybody! I just want to be alone and do what **I** want to do! So don't expect anything from me-**I AM NOT HERE FOR YOU!"**

She pulled the door open to the house-

_"M**y house" **_she reminded herself

She looked back at his devastated face.

"**THIS IS MY HOUSE!"** She screamed and then slammed the door behind her.


	4. Anger and Observations in Neverland

Disclaimer: Still do not own any of J.M.Barrie's characters from his work Peter Pan.

For several minutes all that Wendy was aware of was her rage. She couldn't see the four walls around her, couldn't see the modest furnishings or the care that had obviously been taken to make her feel at home.

It was her hands she noticed first…they were clenched into fists. She opened them up in horror and saw eight tiny red crescents blooming on her palms.

"_I feel like I'm losing my mind…."_

She turned towards the door .Her eyes burned as the tears began to spill from them. She thought of the home Peter had shared with the lost boys .In the evenings it had looked like a rabbit's warren with them all curled up asleep. And when Peter had had cried out in the darkness-plagued by those demons he battled only in sleep…

"_Who could he possibly have to comfort him now…"_

With a twinge of guilt, Wendy stole a peek out the front window. Peter was gone. That is what she wanted, wasn't it?

Peter was very angry, and like any child-even one in his unique situation-he was having a tantrum. He swung his sword at helpless branches and birds. It only made him angrier when the birds just flew away…he wanted them to fall, bloody and _dead_ to the ground. Then he spied something much better as he neared one of the lagoons.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" he snarled loudly to the young mermaid bathing serenely in the water.

Startled, she turned quickly. Seeing Peter, however, relief washed over her features.

"Oh Peter, you scared me!" her warm face smiled brightly at him.

"You don't belong here." Peter replied, aiming his sword at her.

"What are you talking about, silly?" she said coyly

"You stupid _fish_ think you can stink up all the best swimming holes. Go back to where you belong or I'll have to make you pay for being here." He said very coldly

The mermaid's smile faded some as she considered the tone of his voice.

" Fine, you spoilsport!" she flipped up to make her dive. She slapped her tail down harder than necessary as she dove. Peter couldn't react fast enough, and was doused in a great splash of water.

Wiping his face, Peter sat down on the rocks jutting out along the edge of the shoreline.

" Stupid girl…" he muttered.

Days passed and Wendy avoided seeing any other human being effectively. She managed to explore areas of the island she'd never seen before. Each morning she set out early to explore. It was such a beautiful place. It smelled wonderful, too. Every day Wendy made sure she gathered flowers. She made some into lush floral crowns that she could enjoy all day long, wherever she went. The sweetest smelling ones she saved to bring home to her little house. It was their scent that soothed her as she drifted off to sleep every night.

Despite not having made contact with any of the other inhabitants of Neverland, her presence had not gone unnoticed. Almost all the other island dwellers knew of her return. Several had spent time observing her on her daily excursions.

Tiger Lily, recently happily made a wife to a chieftain's son, had watched her as she gathered fruit early in the mornings. Once, Wendy had been the source of great jealousy in her. Now she only evoked curiosity and perhaps even pity from her. Tiger Lily wondered what had driven Wendy away from her home and family .Her first thought had been that it could only have been a strong desire to be with Peter Pan. As the days passed she changed her mind though, as it seemed Wendy had no strong pull to be by Peter's side. She had heard from others, however, that the great Pan was told to be in a very foul mood ever since her arrival. What had he hoped her role would be here?

Tinker bell had also spent a great deal of time scrutinizing the returnee. She had been the only one to know of Peter's growing obsession. Now, in the short amount of time since her return, Miss Darling had managed to make Peter an awful companion for Tinker Bell, herself. His treatment of his longtime fairy bordered on cruelty at times. Tink could hardly stand to be in his company at all. It gave her plenty of time to follow her movements in Neverland…and Wendy seemed to be having a grand time…

She watched her carry out mundane tasks such as pick fruit, gather flowers, and sweep dust out of home. She'd seen her climb rocky hills just to sit and stare at the horizon for hours. She'd also been present while Wendy performed more intimate human functions. She'd watched her bathe. She'd watched her find a mossy, shady spot to nap in. On one such occasion, Tinker Bell used the opportunity to make more detailed study of the girl.

She had sat down close to the girl and listened to her breathing-half wanting to make it stop forever. She noted the length of Wendy's eyelashes as they rested on her rosy cheeks.

"_How can you be so serene when you are the cause of such chaos?"_

"What are you doing here?" She whispered quietly, so as not to wake the young woman.

"_A girl so close to womanhood doesn't belong here. You are a beautiful_ _dangerous thing_." She thought as she studied the curves that hadn't been there when Wendy had last been brought to Neverland.

"_You are tormenting my Peter Pan and-" _she began to flutter away

" I hate you." She said loudly enough to frighten a few butterflies, but really nothing much else. She turned back to see if Wendy stirred.

"_And what effect will you have on Hook? "_She thought as she darted away_._

And Captain James Hook was alive, and well, and also fully aware of Wendy's return. Had Pan snatched a fair maiden from hearth and home merely for his own pleasure? Hmm....very intriguing, a wicked Pan abducting a female to ravage her…but rather unlikely. It was without doubt, however, that the said female was here. But why?

Hook had seen the unfamiliar light on the hilltop first. He recalled it being the location of the small house built years before. Assuming Pan was using it, as he had been known to do from time to time, Hook dismissed it. Early the next morning, he had to correct himself as he saw someone sitting on one of the rocky coastline beaches. Calling to one of his crew, he requested the spyglass. There sat a young woman with unmistakable features. Thus realizing who she was, he had returned the glass and asked to have preparations made for him to go ashore alone.

His observation of her became almost a daily habit. At first, he told himself it was important to know what went on over on the mainland with Pan. Fact gathering expeditions, he told himself. So he noted too, the ways she had grown. She now had long and delicately shaped legs. She wore some sort of smock like white garment that stopped at her calves and with no stockings to hide them.

"_She doesn't wear the long skirts of a woman, but she is no longer a child."_

Her arms were likewise exposed.

" _Bare arms and legs? She is tossing away with convention, is she not? Morals cannot have changed that much since I left that world. I do believe she is actually wearing some sort of combination of her _undergarments…." He was truly baffled.

Hook found himself mesmerized by those arms and their graceful movements as she tucked loose hair behind her ear. Her hair was always down. It was very long; the masses of curls reaching far down her back. It still had the same golden honey color.

"_And why am I taking note of her hair?"_

But he knew that particular fascination had begun when he had watched her drying it in the sun one afternoon. Combing it through with her fingers, watching those fingers disappear, and re-appear as they worked out the tangles in the wet curls. Seeing how those curls had begun to gleam as they dried.

He knew he watched her far more than he 'needed' to- if he had ever really needed to at all. As far as_ strategically_ tracking Pan's daily movements-he hadn't in a very long time. Now, though, he had become re- aware of them; he had seen Peter watching Wendy also.

He couldn't help but think again of old plans for his revenge on Pan. When he had first caught glimpse of Peter watching Wendy it had struck him what an opportunity this could be. She could be so valuable if Peter cared for her as much as James thought he might. It really wouldn't matter what Wendy's feelings for Peter were…

"_But Captain James Hook no longer spends his time plotting schemes for revenge."_ He reminded himself at the time.

He had spent so much time since his 'death' re-thinking his life. He would always be thankful he was so quick with a sword, finally finishing that damned croc for good.

Being dead had given him a second chance at life. The day he got that chance was the day he realized there were things he wanted out of life that only he could give himself. It was a almost an epiphany…going over the side of his own ship, facing the great gaping jaws of that insufferable beast… knowing that he had let himself blame the youth for bringing him to his own worst dark self. He had seen his life then for what it was. Known that he had run away from his life before and that Peter Pan was only the demon he inflicted on himself.

Subsequently, Peter had no longer sought him, or anyone under him, to spar with. The pirates still sailed, and they still feared their Captain, but Pan was no longer their constant battle. The crew didn't question any of this. Their daily lives hadn't really changed all that much with the absence of Peter Pan. Their Captain was still a man who demanded hard work from every man aboard his ship. The sight of that cold steel hook still could spread fear through the crew. The men had few clues to the enigma that was James Hook.

But now, even the crew of the_ Jolly Roger_ had heard rumors of Peter Pan's 'guest'…and they were aware in the change of routine for their Captain too. They began to wait anxiously for –something to happen.

They hadn't needed to wait long.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews.I hope this chapter answers some questions for those who had them.I'll try and update asap.


	5. A knock at her door

Disclaimer:I do not own any of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan.

He had told himself he wouldn't search her out when he went ashore that afternoon. Then the time had come to return to the ship. When faced with the path back to the shore, he turned insteadtowards her house. He had watched her only very briefly. She sat watching the sea as the sun made its final dip below the horizon. She sat with her back against the front wall of her cottage.Her arms wrapped around her legs, which were pulled up tightly to her chest. It was a warm evening, but Hook saw her shiver.

"What troubles you so, dear girl?"

He realized he had said these words aloud. It darkened his mood knowing that he wanted to know the answer. He turned around to return to the familiarity of his ship.Captain James Hook was reboarding that ship, assisted by an arm offered by a crewmember.He was being hoisted over the railing when it happened.

The poor man must have overcompensated and the Captain had stumbled awkwardly as he tried to gain his footing on thedeck. The men on board that ship all believed they knew what was to happen next. Those standing nearby looked in horror at the ill-fated crewmate. They all assumed his demise was imminent.

And Hook had drawn back his right arm as to slash the trembling man's throat with the sharpclaw –and then had stopped. His eyes had locked with the other man's for a brief moment and then he had swung his arm upwards instead.

"Get out of my sight you damned idiot!"

The man scrambled to escape striking distance of the hideous claw. He hurried away quickly offthe deck and away from jeopardy.

"All of you! You have work to do, don't you? He yelled at their shocked faces.

Thus began the pacing. With it, the crew fell into a new uneasiness. They knew they should be scrubbing blood from the deck. Instead their Captain was pacing those same boards talking to himself in the growing darkness of night. They wondered what would come next.Finally, after nearly an hour, the Captain answered that question for them.

"I'm going back ashore. I'll need the dinghy again. I want it now."

The crew did not dare make him wait. They worked quickly, and Hook was rowing back to shore minutes later.

James Hook stood in front of the door, uncertain as to what he was really doing there. Hetook a deep breath, only then realizing he had nearly run there after pulling his boat ashore.He looked to the warm glow coming from beyond the window.

"_You are stalling, man."_

He knocked.

Inside Wendy could not begin to guess who was at the door. She didn't know why anyone would call on her so late.

" _Because everyone here follows the rules of proper etiquette? Really, Wendy."_ She chided herself.

"Hello? Who's there?" she asked in a voice full of forced cheerfulness.

Even though she knew she sounded absolutely ridiculous, she knew her Mother would have been pleased her daughter hadn't forgotten her manners.

_"Even though she'd faint dead away if she saw me without my stockings…"_

She was smiling at this thought until she heard the voice outside answer her.

" It's James Hook."

"I thought Captain Hook died, how could it be James Hook?" she called through the door.

Was he a ghost? A malevolent spirit that had unfinished business with her? Wendy couldn't detect any malice in his voice…and he certainly sounded real enough. She had to assume he was the living, breathing man himself.

"What kind of pirate would I be if I had let that beast be the end of me?" he paused briefly.

"I know, you were there. I wouldn't believe me either. I wouldn't trust someone who had promised to fling me overboard in front of her children or that business of walking the plank. All I can give you is my word that I mean you no harm Miss."

"And w-what do you want?" she asked, trying to sound unafraid.

"To talk to you." He said sincerely.

Wendy stood poised to open the door. As she reached for the handle she thought fleetingly of finding a weapon…. She quickly scanned the room. She realized the most dangerous thing she had was a sewing needle.

"_Deep breath, Wendy."_

She took her own advice and then opened the door with a smile.

"Captain Hook." she said politely

"Miss Darling." He replied graciously.

"Please, come in."

Wendy was not sure where her courage was coming from. She knew this man should frighten her. But there was nothing in his voice, or his face, that was suggesting he was there to harm her.

Wendy motioned to a small cushioned stool on which the Captain could sit. He thanked her quietly, and sat down. He looked very large and out of place on the dainty seat. Wendy returned to her own chair and sat facing him.

"It has been quite some time, has it not?" he asked in a very formal tone.

"Yes, several years." She answered.

He was looking directly into her eyes.

"But not so long that you forgot the way." His voice was smooth and even. Wendy looked away.

"Well, it was Peter, actually…" she trailed off awkwardly.

"Yes, of course. I thought that might have been the case. But Wendy, it has been a while. Why are you here?"

"Oh." was all she could manage. It left her mouth in a little 'o'shape.

It was the question she had pushed out of head again and again during the past several weeks. It actually had many variants, and she had pondered them all.

"But, why do you want to know?"

She knew he could hear the fear in her voice, and she was upset she couldn't hide it.

"Let me give you my assurance as a _former_ English gentleman, I mean you no harm." And he offered her a small smile.

Wendy was unnerved. This was stranger, and more unexpected, than Peter's new attitude. There was something very straightforward and honest about him. The whole…flourish about him was gone. His hair was pulled back modestly. His clothes weren't the same fussy ones she remembered; he was dressed very simply.

" Thank you." She said.

"I should thank you. You have no reason to trust my word. If I were you I might not have even let me in. I want you to know I appreciate that you did."

He was struck as he heard his own voice how much he meant what he said.

He lowered his head slightly as he spoke again.

"I'm sorry. I actually shouldn't be here, should I? You see, I have forgotten all those English manners.

He stood to leave.

"Uh, no-I mean, It's all right."

"Well you are polite to say so. It is very late and I should be returning to my ship." He was already at her door.

"Wait," she stopped him as he opened the door. She couldn't help but still look at him curiously. There was something in his face that she just couldn't identify. He looked down at her; she realized he was waiting for her to speak. The words finally came out in a rush.

"I-I don't know why I'm here."

James considered her words.

They brought a smile to his face. Wendy, however, was frowning.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. That was astonishingly rude of me…but"

"But what?" she sounded more than a little irritated by his reaction.

"It seems we have something in common."

"_And that's not including that hint of a temper I believe I just saw." _

"But-haven't you always…"

"Always been here? No. No, I definitely have not." He shook his head.

Wendy hadn't ever considered that Captain Hook might have had a life outside Neverland. She hadn't really considered anything about the other residents here

"_Just what I needed, more to think about…"_She let out a sigh.

"Miss Darling, perhaps you would let me join you again tomorrow to continue this discussion. You could tell me of London and I could tell you more about here."

" I wouldn't be opposed to that."

"Then I'll call sometime, late morning?"

"That would be fine."

"Till tomorrow. Thank you again Miss Darling." He gave a very slight bow of his head and turned to walk down the hill.

"Good evening Captain Hook."

Wendy closed the door behind him. She returned to her chair and sat.

It was all rather strange.

"_And I thought I was losing my mind before?"_

A/N: Forgive me if this chapter seems brief, I wanted it split from what happens next. I promise to try to answer some questions in the next chapter instead of making more.Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. Company and Conversation

Disclaimer: I do not own any thing of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan

Wendy found herself looking for places to dust the next morning. She had only the sun by which

to judge the time by, and was beginning to think 'late morning' was getting close. "I'm nervous.

I shouldn't be nervous. No reason. It's a conversation, an exchange of information. I'm just

having company." She had decided to leave the front door open. It just seemed less formal.  
  
"Less formal, that's good considering you're in your underwear having a man  
  
over with no chaperone in sight... maybe I should consider the everyday china for tea."  
  
Wendy looked down at her clothing.  
  
"Maybe I should put the real dress back on..."  
  
Wendy took one look at the heavy wool dress that she had hung up on a peg. She could feel a

sweat build just thinking about it.

"It is SO itchy." She decided against it. After all, he had already seen her without it. This is

what she was comfortable in.

"I am fine in this. There is nothing wrong with this."

It really wasn't such an obscene outfit she had adopted. After all, evening gowns were

sleeveless. It was more about knowing that her parents would rush to cover her if they could

see her dressed like this. She had left her house wearing a long sleeved, wool dress. She had a

fancy corset cover underneath; even though she refused to wear the evil corsets themselves.

Underneath that item was a one piece garment that continued into drawers. Under her skirt had

also been an underslip that had a fancy decorative hem that could be seen beyond the original

skirt. Underneath the first slip she had a plainer petticoat that normally wouldn't be visible. All in

all, she had two layers on top and three on the bottom.

"Two skirts. I have on two skirts, not to mention knickers-Good God! Do not mention

them. And I'll keep my shoes on." That thought started her laughing.

"Yes, it is the shoes that will protect my reputation. At least my family's name, something

for Mother and Father to hold on to." She actually was laughing quite heartily when the Captain

arrived at her doorway.

Her laugh was something he hadn't been prepared for. It was a far cry from the drunken  
  
snorting that he had been surrounded by for years. It was unrestrained, but so feminine.  
  
He knew he was seeing something she hadn't meant to share with him, and he wasn't  
  
certain how to announce himself. She had obviously left her door open in welcome, but  
  
now he felt like he was intruding on a private moment. Luckily he was saved from  
  
finding something to say.  
  
Wendy turned thinking she heard a noise in her doorway.  
  
"He must think I've gone daft."  
  
"Well, hello, and good morning." She said trying to compose herself. She still felt  
  
laughter pulling at her sides as she straightened herself and her skirts.  
  
"Yes, good morning to you Miss Darling."  
  
"You can call me Wendy, I prefer it actually."  
  
"And I would be pleased if you'd call me James."  
  
"All right, James. Please, come in, have a seat." She motioned towards the  
  
two available seating options.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He entered and sat on the stool he had used the previous night. Wendy walked over and  
  
joined him.  
  
"So, I have heard that Pan has been a bit of a terror since the time of your return."  
  
"A terror?" She groaned, "Just what has he been doing?"  
  
"Nothing too awful, more like making himself a general nuisance. I believe he  
  
managed to threaten several of the younger mermaids. A family member-a father- I  
  
believe, told him he would 'fillet him' if he continued to upset them one minute longer."  
  
He chuckled, but Wendy shuddered as she looked out the door.  
  
"He must have been really awful to them..."  
  
James shrugged his shoulder a bit.  
  
"Well, I don't believe any limbs were lost." He said casually.  
  
Wendy's head snapped back towards the man sitting in front of her.  
  
"I'm sorry. I should have thought first."  
  
"Don't be sorry. He was behaving badly, and this" he lifted his hook up and  
  
contemplated it.  
  
"This isn't anything I didn't ask for." He looked from the hook to Wendy's face  
  
He spoke to her.  
  
"Anyone who seeks out the battle must be prepared for all its consequences-even  
  
death. This is just a reminder of the choices I've made for myself."  
  
"And you chose to be here."  
  
"I did, and you?"  
  
"I chose not to be where I was that night he came." She said quietly.  
  
"He wanted you here very badly, though, didn't he?"  
  
"I didn't know that then. Not there. I didn't know when I left with him. It upset  
  
me when I realized. Oh," she took a quick breath in, "I'm afraid I was very harsh with  
  
him." she shook her head.  
  
"Because?"  
  
"Because he," she started a little too hotly, and stopped herself. She knew the  
  
truth now, and couldn't put all the blame on Peter.  
  
"Because he made himself into what I wanted him to be when I was a twelve year  
  
old girl. Oh God, I was so cruel."  
  
She felt a terrible guilt sweep over her.  
  
"What kind of person have I become? How could I do that to someone? He  
  
became what I wanted."  
  
"What he thought you wanted."  
  
"But it was what I wanted. It's the most horrible thing I've ever done."  
  
"You never asked him to do it."  
  
"No, I just let him know it was my true desire. The dream of a silly little  
  
girl...and I've changed so much since then."  
  
Tears were beginning to shine in her eyes.  
  
Wendy was so deeply horrified. She was responsible for someone changing his whole  
  
life-his entire being-to suit her...and then she rejected him.  
  
"I told him he was wrong...I couldn't say he was right, but five years too late."  
  
Now James could understand some of what he had seen when he watched her. He still  
  
wanted to know was why she had come with Peter, if he wasn't what she wanted.  
  
"Did you run away from your life Wendy?"  
  
It wasn't an accusation. There was something sad and knowing in his voice. She looked  
  
up at him through a blurry haze of pooling tears. She knew now what it was that she  
  
couldn't identify in his face before. She blinked once, and the tears spilled down her  
  
cheeks.  
  
"It's why you're here too."  
  
They both knew now why Neverland was their common ground.

A/N: I'm sorry about the line spacing- I can't seem to get the same when I upload. Hope you all enjoy the content. Make someones day-review!


	7. Confession and Confrontation

Disclaimer: All J.M. Barrie's characters still belong to him

A/N:This upate was delayed due to technical difficulties. I had major problems uploading it. My apologies to all

.

I can't begin to explain how peaceful I've felt here up to now."

"Forgive me Wendy, I didn't come here with the intention of upsetting you." He said gently.

"No, no," she said as she shook her head and wiped at her tears with her hands.

"It's certainly not your fault."

James leaned forward and offered her his handkerchief. She accepted it and smiled at him.

"_And in the midst of all this the man is charming."_

_"_You haven't nearly forgotten all your good manners. Your mother would be proud." She sniffed.

"My mother," he chuckled

"Well, neither of my parents would be impressed with me. I haven't been their darling boy in quite some time. And as to my previous life, I had a problem living up to their expectations."

"But you did for a while?"

"I suppose."

"Longer than I did."

"Well, yes. It's fair to say I was a good deal older than you when I left. Forgive me for my breech of etiquette once again, knowing that it's not polite to ask a lady her age, but,"

"I'm not a lady."

He was slightly confused by her cold response.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm seventeen."

She folded her arms across her chest. James wasn't exactly sure how to proceed.

"At seventeen I was being shipped off to my father's alma mater. My course of study was already chosen for me."

"And I suppose you attended lectures?"

"Yes."

"And spent hours in the library?"

"It was necessary."

He really wasn't sure where she was going with this line of questioning, but he was sure he'd know soon enough by her angry expression.

"And wrote compositions. Debated theory. Politics?"

"Something like that, but "

"Hmpf."

"Well, apparently, I didn't appreciate the opportunity in the manner I should have."

_Did I get it right?_ He hoped.

_"_That is obvious. It's a place that exists solely to educate and to enlighten. A place where an opinion is valued and is allowed to be defended. You are respected for defending your opinion there. Libraries filled with texts that are waiting to be read. Knowledge just waiting to be shared every day. I'd never disrespect that. Ever."

"Are female students common at the universities now?"

"Common, no. They are accepted though. It's something my parents have…forbidden."

"And so you are here?"

"I guess so. Either that or choose from the many doddering idiots that my father has selected for me. Marry one of them and live happily ever after."

"But you can't attend university here Wendy."

"Really? You men you haven't founded Neverland University in my absence?"

"Sarcasm Wendy? I didn't think you had it in you." He chuckled.

Her expression softened.

"But I have _peace_ here at least. I didn't know how much I could appreciate that." She sighed.

"Even if I can't have that which I wanted, I can be happy just knowing it _is_ what I wanted. No one is telling me I can't do it, or worse, that I shouldn't want it in the first place. Does that make sense to you?" He nodded.

"It does."

"I can be happy for now just being here. Being the person who refused the plans made for her is fine for now. I guess that kind of happiness doesn't last forever though, does it?"

"No. Not unless this is all you want."

"For now it's fine."

"For now."

"You seem happy, or at least happier."

A smile spread across James' face.

"I wasn't a happy pirate?"

"Were you?"

_The truth? This woman demands the truth at an alarming rate._

"Not always. Not even when it was all I wanted. But when I saw what I really wanted I allowed myself to change. I was happy the way you are now, just knowing what I wanted."

"What it is it you decided you really want?"

James was not ready to share this truth. He knew this was too close. He couldn't tell her how he had glimpsed what he wanted in a child's eyes. He certainly couldn't tell her he now saw the other end of that equation in those same eyes…but now those eyes belonged to a woman. She would surely have a bad reaction to that information. James did not want to do anything wrong. He couldn't lie to her, but now was not the time for the truth either.

"Maybe I'll tell you that story another time. I think maybe it's time to get back to ship and crew." He stood to leave.

Wendy also stood up quickly, her words coming almost before she could think them.

"But you'll come back?"

"I'd certainly like to."

_His voice is silky…_

"Then I'm inviting you back."

He was smiling at her. His eyes were holding hers.

_Those eyes are so incredibly blue…_

Wendy managed to pull her thoughts back to the conversation as she felt heat burning in her cheeks.

"Tomorrow?" she asked

"Tomorrow would be fine. I have business to attend to in the morning. How about the afternoon?"

"I'll be waiting."

"Then till tomorrow."

They both stood in the doorway for a moment. Then James gave a slight bow and began to walk away from the house. Wendy closed the door behind him.

The Captain had a smile on his face as he walked across what he thought of as Wendy's yard. He had barely begun down the hill when he heard his name called out in another familiar voice.

"Pan," he answered without turning

"I have no quarrel with you today."

"No quarrel with me today?" replied the mocking voice "What kind of complete rubbish is that?"

James turned to face Peter. He saw the drawn sword.

"It's been a while Peter. I'm not looking for a fight today, or any other day, believe me."

"What were you doing in there?"

Peter pointed his sword towards the house. His tone was now deadly serious. James kept his tone calm.

"Nothing to concern you Peter."

"It is of no concern to me that you were in Wendy's house?" He started to shout.

"Wendy! Wendy! Come out here!" he started towards the house. Although Wendy could undoubtedly hear him, she was not responding in any way.

"Wendy!" Peter banged on her door.

"I think you should stay inside Wendy." James called out.

"What?" Peter turned around towards James, looking outraged.

"You're telling her what she should do?" Peter's sword was raised in James' direction.

Inside Wendy debated with herself what she should do. She was frightened now. But she couldn't let them fight like this; they could both get hurt or worse. They were both murderers, and though that was what should have kept her inside, it was what drew her out.

"Stop it! Stop it right now!"

Wendy was alarmed at how close Peter was to James with his sword aimed directly at the man's throat. Wendy couldn't see any visible weapon on James and he was beginning to back slowly away.

"Peter, do not take another step!" she said as severely as she could manage.

"Why shouldn't I?" was his defiant response.

"Because you have no reason to Peter." She wasn't sure if trying to appeal to his sense of fair play was the wisest choice. Peter Pan only seemed to adhere to that code when he felt like it.

"He's a scoundrel, a no good dog, and I say it is my right to serve justice to him." He did not move from his lethal stance.

"He's done nothing wrong here. Besides, don't you think you've doled out enough justice to him already?"

"Did he stop his vile behavior when I used this sword previously?"

"Did you stop yours?" she shot back at him.

Now Peter turned to look at Wendy. He shook his head dejectedly.

"Aw Wendy, what's your problem? Weren't you happy and grateful when I saved you from him before?"

Wendy spoke very softly to him.

"I don't need saving now Peter."

For the second time since she arrived, she had been the cause of that terrible look of pain on Peter's face. It made her feel like such a traitor to him. While she pondered her guilty feelings, Peter turned around and addressed the pirate once more.

"You did this, didn't you? What kind of dirty trick is this Hook?" he said in a venomous tone.

Wendy stepped closer to Peter. She wanted to be able to explain herself without yelling.

"Peter, you know what happens when we go back. It has nothing to do with anyone here. You always knew what happens to children there."

"Then why did you have to go? You should've stayed. You were happy here."

_I know, and then I went and played a dirty trick on you, didn't I?_

"Peter, the things I did then, like playing Mother to you and the boy made me miss my own mother terribly. I think I enjoyed the game because I thought of it as such, a game. It wasn't yet real and I could go back to her." She had moved close enough to touch Peter. She reached out to take his free hand. He pulled it away from her.

"You weren't just playing! You were their real mother!"

"Peter, I know when I left and all the boys came too it must have been terribly lonely,"

"Shut up! You sound like a grown up! Blah! Blah! Blah! I'm not listening!"

Peter flew up in the air whilst covering his ears, having quickly slipping his sword back

in his belt.

"I can't believe you Wendy. I can't believe what you would do to a friend." He flew

away around the trees until Wendy and James could no longer see him.

Wendy turned to James and spoke in a subdued voice.

"I don't want you to hurt each other."

"I wouldn't have struck him except in self defense."

"Are you carrying a weapon?"

"I am. I must."

"Then I thank you."

"What exactly are you thanking me for?"

"You never drew your weapon. You didn't taunt him."

"I guess you are welcome then. I think it is time for me to be on my way again." He began to walk down the hill.

"Good bye again, James." She called after him.

"Good bye again to you also, Wendy." He hadn't turned around, but he waved good- bye. Wendy couldn't see the smile return to his face. She knew he couldn't see hers as she returned to her house and closed the door behind her.

James was smiling as he walked back to the beach. He was remembering the blush he had seen on Wendy's face.

_ I made her blush!_

He couldn't even remember the last time he had seen a woman blush. It could only have been so, so, very long ago. It made him think how young she was, and how old he must be.

_She is the only woman in my memory to ever have held my attention with more than her looks...but she really is so beautiful…and I believe Pan is aware of that beauty too_.

Apparently the boy who refused to grow up had managed to fall in love with someone. He must have thought about her more and more over the years. He must have hoped she still held the same feelings as before. He had gone to bring her back only to find she had changed. It was obvious to James that Wendy cared deeply for Peter-but was not in love with the boy. Where did that leave her feelings for him?

Later that night, on his ship, James sat on the edge of his bed to undress. He slid the lethally sharp dagger from its concealed sheath in his boot. He had not become a fool, but if forced to attack he would prefer to use something that he didn't consider a part of his own body. He laid the gleaming blade on his bedside table. In a short while his hook, and its elaborate harness, lay beside it. As he closed his eyes to sleep, he saw the moonlight glint off the blade. He was glad Wendy had thanked him, she mustn't have thought of the hook as a weapon anymore either. That thought, and the memory of her blush, was what lingered in his mind as he drifted off to sleep.


	8. What Peter wants

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan

When dawn broke, Wendy was already wide awake. She hadn't slept well, having woken repeatedly throughout the night. The last time she found herself staring at the ceiling she decided it wasn't worth fighting any longer. She rose out of bed long before first light. She waited until the sun was brightly shining before leaving her house though. She had no desire to meet up with any nasty little nocturnal creatures that might not have called it a night yet. She knew she needed to make the journey to Peter's side of the island to talk with him. She wanted to make that trip as easy as possible, because she knew the conversation itself wouldn't be.

As she had expected, it took several hours to navigate the rough and unfamiliar terrain. Even when she had clear paths to follow, Wendy wasn't always certain she was headed in the right direction. She was silently cursing Peter out for making this so difficult. It could have been the simplest task, finding Peter to talk to. She knew from her own experience that just thinking of him could bring him around.

_"So where were you at two this morning, Peter? Or three? Or four?"_

Peter was not going to make anything easy for her from now on, that was her prediction.

She was very close to being at Peter's own door when she stopped walking. She was on a clear path cutting through staggeringly tall trees on either side of her. She had that singular feeling that she was being watched.

"Okay Peter. Are you here?"

_Because I am not in the mood for this._

She looked up to the treetops, trying to see if she could make out any suspicious movement.

"Peter, I need to talk to you. I came all the way here, I don't want to do it like this."

She was certain he was very near. She listened to see if she could decipher any noise that might give her a clue in which direction she should face when speaking. She thought she heard a rustling to the left and quickly turned in that direction.

"Peter?"

"Boo." He said flatly from her right, startling her slightly.

"Thanks for coming out Peter, I really needed to see you."

"Really." his voice dripped with sarcasm. She decided to ignore it.

"Peter, please. I didn't come back here with plans to hurt you. I really didn't. I didn't know what I was coming here for."

"You called me, Wendy."

"And what did I say to you? What did you hear when I called you from my dreams?"

Peter frowned; he could hear the challenge in Wendy's voice.

"You wanted to be here with me. You wanted freedom."

"I'll agree with you that what I was, no, I **am, **absoultly aching for is freedom. I wanted to be free of the arguments with my father. Free from the helpful, deceitful, 'chats' with my mother. Errg!" she groaned.

"You and I both know there is plenty of freedom here Peter."

"We can do anything Wendy." Peter took both of her hands in his.

"But Peter, the other part. You said I called out for you so we could be together. I think you know that's not true."

"What are you going to say? That you wanted to come back to be with Hook?" his grip tightened on her hands.

"Why would I have said that? I thought he was dead!"

"Maybe he'd been talking to you, _visiting_ you!" his grip was now vise-like. Wendy pulled back to try and free herself.

"I only spoke to him again after you brought me back." She tried once more to pull herself free.

"That's it Peter! Let go of my arms! You're hurting me now!"

He repeated something he'd said the day before.

"I can't believe you'd do this to me!"

Peter let go of Wendy and she fell backwards. She landed hard on her backside. She tried to regain her composure and speak to him rationally.

"Peter, you're not being fair. I don't think you want to."

"What _I want to?_ What …I…want… to" He charged her. He was enraged. He pushed her into the ground beneath him. His face, twisted with rage, hovered inches from hers.

Wendy was more frightened now than any other moment since returning to Neverland. She willed herself not to cry. She asked the next question earnestly hoping the answer was something she could deal with.

"What do you want Peter?" she said quietly

"I want you to kiss me and say you'll stay with me forever." His voice had become that of a petulant child's.

"I can't do that Peter."

"Yes you can!"

"Peter, please get off of me." She had tried very hard not to sound like she was begging him. She might have to admit to herself how overwhelming her fear was becoming. But then Peter was crushing his lips against hers. Wendy fought him frantically.

"Stop! No Peter, stop!" she struggled to turn her face away from his.

"Please, _please stop_." She gave way to the tears now. She could hear the desperation in her own voice. Finally, he rolled away from her.

"Why don't you love me Wendy?" it sounded like Peter was crying too, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"You wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell you what I felt…"

Wendy was still lying on her back. She turned her head to look up at the sky.

_It all started with me making wishes on the sky…_

She didn't turn her head any further in his direction, but she could see that Peter was sitting a few feet away from her. He was hugging his knees tightly. She spoke very quietly to him, in almost a whisper.

"I…do love you Peter. I'll love you forever. I will always have you to thank for Neverland, and freedom. You gave me so much."

"I want you to smile at me the way I saw you smile at _him_." He was crying. She turned her face towards him.

"It just can't be that way. I'm so sorry Peter."

Peter shook his head. He frowned as the tears dripped off his chin.

"He's not a nice man."

"I think he's changed. He's only been nice to me. I believe it's genuine."

"But I found you, and I brought you here."

_Such a dirty trick I played on you…_

"Peter, I think if you want love in your life, you could have it."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

"You mean growing up!" he looked shocked.

"I don't know why you see so surprised. I think you knew it already. I think you already did allow yourself to, a little bit, or you wouldn't,"

"You're doing it again. I'm gonna stop listening to you in a minute if you keep it up."

Wendy struggled to sit up so she could look him in the eye.

"Peter we can't have every conversation end up like this."

"Then stop saying things I don't want to hear."

Wendy was tired. She wasn't sure why she had thought this would work.

"Peter, I need to go now. I need to be away from you. I need to not see you, not talk to you, and not think about you. I wanted to make you feel better about this and you hurt me. You _hurt me _Peter_._ I don't even know why I should have hoped for an apology."

Wendy got herself up from the ground. She brushed herself off a little and started to walk away down the path.

"Wait! Wait, Wendy." He sprang up and was next to her in an instant. She found herself tensing.

"I am sorry. I'm sorry Wendy. Please still be my friend."

"I need to trust you to let you be a friend."

"I'm sorry." He lowered his head in shame.

"And I would need something else."

"What?" he said as he looked back up.

"I would need you to promise me,_promise me, that you will not hurt Captain Hook._"

"But Wendy!"

"I want to give him a chance Peter. You don't need to do anything but leave him alone and let him be. Can you give me that?"

"You trust him now and not me?" his voice was filled with hurt, not anger.

"I've found it can be difficult to trust anyone here. But for now, yes, I trust him. He wants to be trusted, that I am certain of. I want to trust you too. But pushing me? Hurting me? What do you think I should do?"

Peter was quiet.

" Sometimes I'm still the same old Wendy…" she muttered

"I just want everyone to be happy." She said sadly and shrugged her shoulders as she turned and began her walk home.

A/N: Thanks to all who've been reading. Please be patient, I hope the next few chapters will be to everyone's liking. Tell me what you think.Please review. Thanks again for reading!


	9. Appeals and Promises

**Disclaimer:**J.M. Barrie's characters are still not mine.

The long hike back to her own dwelling gave Wendy more time to think.

_As if I need **more**_ _time to contemplate life and all its lovely quirks…_

She had thought it would be easier here. She had thought she would have been able to leave arguments behind. She didn't ever think she'd be fighting off unwanted **kisses** here. She had been kissed exactly once before. To Peter's credit, at least his had been fueled by emotion. Her first, a dry, tight-lipped peck that had been bestowed at the end of a particularly horrendous evening of male companionship could only been inspired by the memory of a particularly sour grapefruit the man must have been forced to eat at some low point in his life. The pompous git had the nerve to act like she should have been grateful for his generous gift to her.

_I think Peter understands now…I really hope he does…_

Wendy continued her trek through the forest. She was oblivious to the set of eyes watching her this time. Tinkerbell was far too quick, small, and agile to be noticed by the casual observer. She had noted the Captain's trips to visit Wendy-both those before and after he began speaking to her. He had been just as intrigued as she had guessed he might be-maybe more so. She hated to admit it but the young woman seemed even more beautiful today than the day she first returned. It was hard to imagine any male not being drawn to her. That woman-child oozed something she didn't even seem to know she possessed. She had watched sadly as Peter had thrown himself at Wendy. Tink thought she would have stopped him from…doing something that couldn't be reversed if Wendy hadn't seemed to be able to manage it herself…probably without hurting her too badly, even. She hoped he finally could see that Wendy wasn't pining over him the way she once had. He just wasn't her grand destiny…

_But what will her destiny be? How long will she disrupt our lives? I want to yank out every last curl on her head…_

But even Tink knew that would do no good.

_She has her own magic, that one…_

As Wendy came up over the hill, she saw James sitting on one her chairs in front of her house.

_It must be later than I thought._

He immediately stood up as her saw her. She could see his smile, and then she watched it fade, as she got closer to him. He began walking briskly towards her.

"Wendy, are you all right? Did you fall?" he looked at her with concern.

"I-no, I'm okay."

"What happened? You're filthy. Your face…have you been crying? Wendy,what happened?' His voice had gotten very dark and serious.

Wendy looked down at her clothing; she saw the large dirty stains on her skirts. She put a hand to her face and felt the grime there. Most likely there were muddy looking trails down her cheeks from her tears.

"I-did fall. I fell down…" she couldn't look at him as she spoke

"Are you hurt?" he reached out for her hand, she winced as her touched her wrist.

"You are hurt. What are these marks from?"

Wendy looked at the slightly red marks circling her wrists. Then James turned her hands over. Her palms were scraped and dirty from the fall.

"Before I tell you I want you to make me a promise."

"No, I'll make no promise. Tell me what happened to you."

"I-I went to talk to him. He was very upset." Wendy looked up at James. His face was filling with fury. The look he gave frightened her.

"James, please, he thought I- thought I was in love with him!"

"What. Did. He. Do. To you?" the rage was definitely building.

"I stumbled-he wouldn't let me up and"

"What do you mean he wouldn't let you up?"

"He…he was over me and"

"His whole body?"

"I suppose," she paused, but knew it wasn't worth denying, "Yes."

"Did he do anything else?"

"Well, he…"

James yelled at her.

"What did he do?"

"I won't say if you yell at me!" she snapped back at him.

James softened his voice as much as he could. He spoke through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, but he had no right, no right."

"He kissed me." She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the explosion.

"_Kissed you?_" his voice was tight, but there was no explosion.

"James, he thought I loved him as much as he loves me…he loves me…. He wants to have my love." She sighed, "He held my wrists. He let me fall. He- he kissed me. He is sorry. He's very sorry, and I don't think he would ever do something like it again. I told him I couldn't be what he wanted. I asked him not to fight you anymore."

"I suppose you were going to ask the same of me just now? The promise?"

"Yes."

"Just tell me you really are all right."

"I'll be fine."

"You're certain?"

"Yes James, I'm certain. I told him I needed to trust him again. I-I also told Peter that you were someone I believed I could trust. I asked him to give me the chance to test both."

James took a deep breath and exhaled it.

"I give you my promise that I will not harm Peter-_unless he harms you. _This is the promise I can give."

"I can accept that James."

"I'd like you to trust me."

Wendy thought of Peter, and his unwillingness to change. She thought about the fact that he **had** changed, but not entirely, and perhaps not consciously either.

"James, what made you decide to change?"

"You, Pan, the boys, even Smee. I stopped enjoying the way people behaved around me. I accepted the fact that the things I wanted would never be mine if I continued to be…a cruel man. And I know I was."

" I think that's very admirable. You still haven't told me what things you want though."

James considered telling her.

_Maybe…maybe I could tell her…_

"Well…Wendy, I saw the children with you, and with Smee, and I wanted what they gave-I mean to say, I wanted to be worthy of love like that. To be loved. To have a woman who loved me, children who loved me. To be a person who could allow himself to be loved. That's what I wanted… still want."

"Oh…"

She couldn't find words at first, she was so stunned by his confession. Did he have any idea what effect his words could be having? How could it be that all she wanted to say to him was 'I could love you. I want to love you.' The thought of _loving_ him** had not** crossed her mind before…but somehow, just hearing him say that he wanted to be someone who could be loved…

"I think you have made yourself into that person." was what she managed to say, even though her throat felt like it was closing up.

"Do you think so?"

"Yes."

He decided, against his better judgment, to through caution to the wind.

"What if I said I wanted you to be the one who could love me-in time. Do you think you could ever see yourself doing that Wendy?"

She didn't know what she should-or could say to him. Things were changing so rapidly. She wasn't sure she couldn't say yes-but wasn't sure she should say it at all.

'I –I don't know. It's…not what I came here for."

" I know, I know, I know." He ran his hand over his hair. He felt so foolish and like he was farther away than ever from being a man who could be loved.

Wendy saw his sadness. She watched him ruff up his hair with his hand as he waited. She wanted to touch his hair…run her own fingers through it…she wanted to touch his face…this was more along the line of how far her thoughts had gone…

'But…James…Do you think?…I mean I could see…maybe…"

He looked up at her. He had no idea what she was trying to say.

"I…what I would like to…I mean, I would like to see what it's like to be kissed. By you. Could you-"

She hadn't needed to ask. James was reaching his hand around the back of her neck, through her hair. He was leaning her face closer. His kissed her very softly, but with such obvious passion.

Wendy didn't think she knew words to describe how that kiss felt. Maybe because it made her feel good in places she didn't even think had names …and that feeling!

When she realized his lips were no longer on hers she asked "Does it always feel that good?" he gave her a wide smile-but she couldn't see it-her eyes were still shut.

"Could you do that again?"

"Definitely." He murmured

This time she couldn't resist reaching her hands up around his neck…letting her fingers play with his long hair. She felt as though her temperature had risen a thousand degrees, and that her brain no longer contained logical thought what so ever. His kiss was consuming her in heat, heat that was spreading throughout every inch of her body. She felt his fingers leave her neck and trail down past her collarbone. They moved down farther until they reached lace trim. A sound escaped her throat that she wasn't aware she was capable of making. A soft moan left her as his fingers brushed the skin just underneath that lace.

James moved his lips to her ear.

"Now tell me," he whispered, "Did it still feel as good the second time?"

His voice sounded liquidy and far away to her. How could she have possibly known about this? No one had ever told her it felt so impossibly, incredibly, fantastically good to be kissed this way. She barely remembered to answer him.

"Oh, yes-better."

"Good." He gave her earlobe a small nip.

"Oh!" she said in a surprised little gasp.

"Why," she said, catching her breath, "doesn't everyone spend their entire day doing that?"

James let out a hearty laugh.

"My dear, no one would ever get anything done-except for the making of more people. Whole nations would fall into ruin. Civilization would collapse, collapse with a smile on its face, but collapse just the same." He said teasingly.

Wendy believed she knew what he meant, except for the more people part…she decided it probably didn't matter much...

**A/N**: Okay, I've finally gotten **there,** the first tease of a lemon.

Thanks to all those reading and giving me encouragement. Isis33, the new Hook probably will be challenged soon. Susie, more lemony steam soon(as you already know).If anyone else who visited this fic before is still reading-hope you like it too!


	10. Cleanliness is next to

**Disclaimer:**These are all Barrie's characters, not mine.

"Come on, you need to get cleaned up." He took her hand.

They walked towards the house. When they reached the door, James slipped his hand from hers. Wendy was suddenly aware of its loss as she felt the stark coolness its absence left. James picked up the stool he had brought outside as they entered the doorway. Inside, he placed the stool down near the table that held the water pitcher and basin.

"Sit." He commanded.

Wendy watched silently as James poured water into the basin. He picked up the neatly folded flannel cloth that had been sitting on the table and submersed it into the water. Lifting the soaking wet cloth, he squeezed out the excess.

"Now," he said, turning his attention back to Wendy, "Lift your chin a little."

Wendy took notice that it was James' hook that gently directed her chin up.

He looked directly into her eyes as he began to gently sweep the cloth down her cheek. After a few passes, he dunked the cloth back into the basin. He rinsed it out thoroughly before returning it to her face again. He washed the other cheek with the same gentle caresses. The cloth returned again to wipe her forehead and chin in the same soothing manner. She felt drowsy and relaxed.

"Let me get your eyes."

"Okay." She said vaguely

"I need you to close them."

"Oh, right." She closed her eyes for him.

Ever so gently, the cloth moved across her eyelids. Even after she could hear the sound of the cloth being rinsed again, Wendy kept her eyes shut. She heard water being poured.

"Your lips." He said as Wendy felt the cloth touch her again. The cloth moved very slowly across her lips. Wendy felt a newly familiar sensation building.

_Don't make a noise…don't make a noise…_

But then the cloth was gone. Wendy opened her eyes. James was walking away with the basin. He walked to the doorway and tossed the dirty water onto the grass. He turned and smiled as he saw her watching him. He returned the basin to the table and poured fresh water into it.

"Your hands."

Wendy offered them both to him, palms up. James frowned. They were both witness to their red, slightly swollen condition. Dirt, mixed with smeared blood, was embedded in the abrasions.

" I meant my promise Wendy. If he ever hurts you again I will not restrain myself."

" I know." She nodded.

"This might sting."

"Okay."

James soaked the cloth, but did not squeeze it out immediately. Without allowing the cloth to touch her palms, he squeezed the excess water directly on her wounds. He did this several times, until upon his inspection he could see no more loose debris. When he finally touched the cloth to her palms, he did so with the gentlest of pressure.

"Is that all right? " he asked tenderly.

"Yes, it's fine James."

After it appeared all the dirt was removed, James put the cloth on the table and turned to inspect his work.

"They look clean. You shouldn't have a problem with them if you keep them as such."

"Thank you James."

"You are always welcome."

James looked at her; he took her whole form in.

"Your hair seems to be full of a considerable amount of-ah…dirt also."

Wendy reached up to touch her head. James was right. There was a good deal of dirt and grit in her hair. The back of her head was also slightly sore. She saw the intensity with which James was watching her and made no mention of it.

"I'll wash it later." was all she said.

James offered his hand to her. Wendy accepted it and stood. He was still regarding her with the same intense gaze. His blue eyes seemed more brilliant than any she had ever seen before. She supposed several of her imposed dinner guests had been quite handsome, but she had never had any interest in memorizing any of their features. She had been told by the few who felt bold enough that she was beautiful. She hadn't cared when they said it She never became the giddy creatures her friends had over a handsome face. She hadn't swooned when they said it. She hadn't asked for, cared for, or valued, their opinions.

She always thought, back in her old London bedroom, that if she could find a man who would allow her to share her intellect with she might find happiness. She had given up on finding him however…and she had never considered what it might feel like if he was ever actually found.

She was close enough to reach out and touch his face. She ran her fingertips down his cheek and across his chin. She moved her fingers up and traced his lips. She was enjoying the way their softness felt against her fingertips.

"Wendy?"

"Hmmm…" her fingertips were still lightly moving on his lips.

"What are you doing?"

"Hmm…what? Oh!" she pulled her fingers away quickly.

"I didn't tell you to stop. I just asked what you were doing." His smile was playful and teasing.

"I needed to touch them…they're very…soft."

The noise James made was somewhere between a groan and a sigh.

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

He wrapped both his arms around her waist and drew her close.

"I still haven't decided if you are my punishment or my reward."

He noted that she now tilted her head in expectation.

_Either way, I can't seem to resist._

And he gave her lips the kiss they seemed to be waiting for. It was a much less polite kiss than the previous two. He was pulling her tightly to his body, his flattened hook keeping a constant pressure on the small of her back. His right hand had moved from her back, to her face, then down her side. It brushed over her breast, slid back down and around her waist. He caressed her bottom.

And James was groaning. Wendy was aware that somewhere beyond herself she could hear him making these noises. She could hear her own name being spoken. Her name was being uttered in a manner she had never heard before. There was need, urgency and desire all expressed in the word that was previously only her name.

"Wendy…Wendy…"

_Need. Desire. Urgency._

Wendy's own hands were also exploring. She was surprised to discover that everywhere she roamed, her hands felt firm hard muscle beneath warm skin. To prove this fact to herself, she let her hand drift to his backside.

_So even that is firm…_

"Miss Darling." He moved himself slightly away from her.

"Oh…but why did you stop?"

_"_Because I still can…for now. I believe in another moment that would no longer be an option for me. I don't want to do anything you haven't made a decision to do. I don't want to leave you in a…compromised position."

_She looks confused…Good Lord, please tell me she does know what I'm talking about._

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_**A/N:**_Okay,hoped you liked it. The next chapter starts out a little corny...I couldn't seem to avoid it. Happy Reading!


	11. Birds, Bees and Chocolate Cake

**Same old Disclaimer:**The characters belong to J.M. Barrie

The look she gave pretty much confirmed his fear.

"Wendy?"

_Where to start?_

"Chaperones?"

"Huh? Did you say 'chaperones', James?"

"I guess if I said it out loud, then I did…Um, have you ever been chaperoned?"

"Yes, of course."

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't look proper for a couple to be alone in certain situations."

"Hmm, like in her bedchambers, while she is only wearing her undergarments?"

"Well that's what the chaperone is trying to prevent from ever-OH! OH MY GOD!"

Suddenly Wendy was in a panic. She was moving around the room nervously.

"We- we HAVEN'T –I mean-you said 'make more people'- I can't- I mean-I don't want to have a -nothing we did-James-what did I do?"

"Wendy, no, Dear, no. Please, sit, sit."

He was successful in getting the young woman to sit back down. He kneeled down in front of her and took her hands.

"Can you tell me what-what your mother might have told you?"

Never in a million years could he have foreseen this scenario happening to him. He hoped it wasn't as bad as it seemed…

"My mother. My mother made vague references to 'The Marriage Bed', and 'The Wedding Night' and 'Girls Who Fell Into Disgrace'. I - I asked for more, but she said she'd tell me when I was to be married. James, I'm sorry for …for…"

"What are you sorry for?"

"You, you just finished saying you wouldn't…_do anything_- and I go off like a raving lunatic. I know you'll tell me the truth. I trust you."

She said it so earnestly. It was enough to make his heart swell…if only it didn't mean he was going to have to…

_Dear Lord, I have to talk about the birds and the bees!_

James suddenly felt quite sick to his stomach. He tried to tell himself he really shouldn't be feeling the need to summon courage just to discuss a few simple facts of life…

"Well. Let me start by saying there are many things a man and woman can do together-things like kissing-that do not result in, ah, producing a child."

"Okay." Wendy nodded.

"Okay." Hook agreed.

_So far, so good._

"Now, there is only one thing that actually results in a child and…well, there is a part of a man that is made to –ah-fit with a woman-do you know what I'm referring to?" he asked hopefully.

"You mean the part that the man uses to give the woman the baby?"

James felt a little relieved; perhaps she did know what he meant.

"Yes! That's what I mean."

Wendy was shaking her head.

"No."

James felt his relief fly out the window.

"Oh…well…How about.."

_How about what?_

Captain James Hook had broken out in a sweat. He looked at Wendy's eager, open face and chastised himself.

_She knows nothing. She was scared-no, I scared her._ _She trusts me. I have gained her trust and this is exactly what I wanted._

"Wendy, this will sound odd, but a man and a woman have parts of their bodies that are made to fit together. Have you never seen one of your brothers without clothing? Maybe bathing or such?"

"Yes, I've seen them."

"Okay. They were…different from you…between their legs."

"Oh…_that_?"

"Yes, _that_. _That_ is the part that the man uses, that can fit _within_, when the time comes."

"It…goes _inside_ the woman? In her…the same…general vicinity?"

"Yes."

"But," Wendy shook her head and knitted her brows together, "That just doesn't seem…possible. The thing I'm thinking of…I mean, with what you're saying is done with it."

"I did say it would seem very odd. It- this is so hard to explain-it _changes_ when it is preparing to be used for the purpose."

"Changes? Changes into what?"

Wendy sounded very skeptical of this particular concept.

"Not into something different, but…more like cheeks become red when you blush. Hearts begin to race when you're frightened, or excited. It's more like a change of that nature."

"Oh…. so… when it changes, and it is put inside the woman. Then a woman will have a child?"

"It's actually one of the more mysterious things in life. A woman doesn't necessarily

conceive a child every time the act is performed. Certainly, if done often enough, it is usually the inevitable outcome. That is also not to say that it isn't common enough that a couple finds themselves in that condition after just one time together."

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"It is the reason to exercise restraint. The way it is, a man and a woman have to assume that any time they are together in such a manner that a child could be the result. It's why the decision is usually left to the bindings of marriage. The ultimate mission of the chaperones is"

"To prevent Girls Who Have Been Disgraced."

Wendy was nodding in comprehension.

"Yes. The difficulty that many have found is that it can be very hard once you are headed towards that-union-to stop one's body before it does something that one's head thinks it shouldn't do."

"It does start with kissing, doesn't it?"

"Yes, and imagine the way you felt after only a few moments. Imagine those sensations growing stronger, more intense…better." He smiled as he reminded her what she had said earlier.

"But…as long as it's not put inside while you are kissing-no child?"

"No, that really needs to occur to conceive the child. No clothing between the two to prevent it, that's the way it usually works."

"So, you can kiss forever without it happening."

"Well, yes-but"

Wendy smiled and cut him off.

"Well," her voice was happy and full of determination.

"Then I shall only ever kiss and it will never happen to me."

James had to work at suppressing a smile-she was so sincere in her naive conviction.

"What I was going to say, Wendy, is that it becomes increasingly more difficult to stop the-progression-the longer one spends kissing and touching. As I was trying to say, our bodies have a way of breaking our promises to be chaste."

"Well, that just sounds silly. If you decide not to-you just don't. It's very simple."

"Hmm…it sounds simple? Let me ask you this: what is your favorite dessert?"

"Oh, well that's an easy one. Chocolate cake."

"Okay. Good. I'm rather fond of a decent chocolate cake myself. Now, imagine you have decided-made a vow perhaps-never to eat chocolate cake ever again. You know how good it is, how much you like it-but no chocolate cake ever again."

"Hmm… okay." she readied herself to consider the idea.

"You then find yourself _alone with_," he smiled wickedly, "a beautiful, moist, rich, wonderfully aromatic, chocolate cake. A cake the likes you've only ever thought existed in your dreams. You can smell its intoxicating scent. You can see the gloss of the creamy icing. You can feel its silkiness as it slips off your fork, past your lips. The way you know it will feel as it settles down inside you and contents you. You can almost taste it all-but you've decided not to eat chocolate cake ever again…it's a little like that." He finished in a whisper.

"Well, that might be hard-but not impossible."

"No, it's never impossible, just, very, very, frustrating. Speaking for myself alone, when we kissed, and I held you, I could easily imagine doing much, much more."

He was running his finger down her knee; it sent a shiver through her that James couldn't miss.

"You mean…?" her voice drifted as her eyes widened.

James nodded and a deep crimson blush spread into Wendy's cheeks.

"I wanted to touch you more. I wanted you to touch me more…with these beautiful hands."

He lifted her hands gently to his lips and kissed them. Wendy felt the heat rising again, she felt light headed with it. It was then she realized just where she could feel the heat most concentrated…she could almost hear her body telling her things it wanted done.

"Oh…my…" she looked into his eyes.

_Not the eyes too…it's like they can see right inside my head…_

She found she couldn't hold his eyes at the moment.

"Do you want more Wendy?" he said in his most devastating voice.

She looked back to his eyes for her response.

"Not a child. But…"

_It's his eyes…maybe his voice…_

She found her fingers tracing his lips once again. James whispered to her.

"Can I continue to touch you with your clothes on?"

"Can I touch you also?"

"I may need to ask you to stop. But first-let's change places."

James stood up, holding her hand and led her to the other chair in the room. He sat himself down on it.

"Sit here with me, on my lap."

Wendy's eyebrows rose.

"On your lap?" she said in a squeak.

"It will illustrate a point." He chuckled

"No pun intended, but truly it will. Please, let me hold you."

He reached out for her. She sat down, tentatively, more on his knees than his lap.

"Closer to me." He said softly as he reached around her. She wiggled her bottom half closer to him then, to settle into his embrace. James couldn't help thinking he was glad she hadn't sat down close in the first place.

"That's better."

He pulled her face very close to his.

"Shouldn't I feel guilty for corrupting you so?"

"Nothing done with honesty can be corruption. And guilt-I don't know what offense you think you've committed. You've helped me find truth." She paused and reveled in her happiness.

"I'm fine. I…am _more._"

She put her hand on his cheek and gave his lips a brief solemn kiss.

_She is glory and radiance…_

James felt strong emotions surging up and threatening to spill out from him. He felt as if he might make a fool of himself. He was relieved when she spoke again.

"You could commence with your demonstration now." She said coyly.

"You are constant surprise and…you are nothing less than glorious Wendy."

He pushed stray hair off her face, draping the long curls back over her shoulder. He moved his lips to cover hers, his hand quickly moving down the side of her throat as he did so. He let his fingers move lower, past bare skin, to find the roundness of her breast. He moved his thumb back and forth slowly over her nipple. It responded by becoming a tight knot beneath the fabric.

Small noises of pleasure were escaping Wendy even as James continued to kiss her. He had gently parted her lips with the tip of his tongue. He was now using his tongue to tease hers.

He let his hand move lower still. He deliberately skipped from mid-navel to her leg. He began to move his hand up and down her thigh, massaging the flesh in long circular strokes. Her skirts moved higher with each pass of her knee. When he found the hems were within a reachable distance he lifted the skirts directly and slid his hand under them. Her thighs were still covered in the fabric of her knickers, but now he had the option of reaching between them, which her very much wanted to do. He started by exploring the angle that was the back of her knee. He touched the skin there, found, just under yet more frilly lace trim. He used the only very lightest of touches, barely making contact with her skin. He felt goose bumps prickle up as his fingers moved. He knew this was not a bad place to begin, as he heard her take in a sharp breath. He let one finger drift to the inside of her thigh. Without a word being spoken, Wendy spread her legs just enough for his hand to have freedom to move even higher. James could feel her heat, and even her moisture, building through the sheer fabric. He could make out the soft folds of her flesh and wished he could kiss her there also. He instead let his fingers move deeper into that soft heat.

His kisses had moved to her throat and he could feel the drum of her racing pulse against his lips. He heard her breathing grow more ragged as his thumb found the sensitive bit of flesh it had been seeking.

Wendy moaned unabashedly and James found his own flesh responding to the pure pleasure conveyed by the sound. He whispered in her ear.

"Can you feel it now, Wendy? Can you feel what it does to me to be with you like this?"

_Do you still think it will be so easy to stop…_

__

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A/N: Okay,that was my first attempt at, well, that kinda stuff written up there.Hope it was okay. Let me know.


	12. New Promises

_**Disclaimer:Not my original characters, all belong to Barrie**_

_Do you still think it will be so easy to stop?_

Wendy had indeed felt his hardness grow beneath her. She had been aware of its presence for some time. She had felt it stir more than once, seeming in her opinion, in correlation with particular noises she had made. She made a note to herself to remember that fact.

"Am I allowed to touch it?"

James raised his eyebrows. Her growing boldness shouldn't have shocked him at this point.

"Still willing to continue into the uncharted waters?" he asked her.

Wendy was prepared to answer him in the affirmative, but something at the window caught her eye.

"What on earth?"

There was a shimmering flash of light and movement, and then a faint noise. Something small landed on the floor with a tiny thud. Then, just as quickly as it came, the light was gone out the window.

"Well I guess I'm stopping now." She said, shaking her head.

"You really can just stop?" James exclaimed.

"James, I'm not even sure I can stand up right now. However, I believe that was Tinkerbell there in my window-watching us for God knows how long!"

James craned his neck to look at the empty window.

Wendy used the opportunity to leave his lap. She straightened her skirts as she stood.

"Can't stand up..." James mumbled.

But James did notice the high color in Wendy's cheeks; the bruised and swollen and _kissed_ look of her lips.

The clearly disheveled nature of her clothing and hair overall was enough to keep him aroused. He decided he needed to get up, it was probably time he left her tempting presence.

Wendy turned her head as she heard him stand. Her focus immediately became the state of his trousers. She was shocked to see the condition she had left him in.

"My goodness."

James looked down at himself. He looked back up at her and smirked rather proudly.

"I did warn you."

He walked, somewhat awkwardly, to where Wendy was standing at the window.

"Tinkerbell, eh?" he said looking out into the sky.

"I think she actually hit her head on the sash-little spy, served her right."

"Maybe she was just curious too." He said as he trailed a finger down Wendy's back.

"Ugh! Watching us? Watching?"

"Hmm, who knows? She's been jealous of you before."

"She shouldn't be anymore then, should she? At least not on account of Peter."

"How about on account of a kiss? Who knows how long she's been without a kiss?"

He lowered his lips to the back of her neck, pushing aside her hair as he did.

Wendy seemed unaffected as she spoke.

"Did you ever wonder why she never sought out one of her own kind? Why shespent all her time with Peter instead?" she asked James.

James spoke between kisses.

"Maybe she was scorned by one of her own."

"Maybe...but...um...James, could you please stop that?"

"Do you need me to stop?"

"Yes, I suppose I do. That makes you happy, doesn't it?"

"Maybe. I do like to be right."

He continued to kiss her.

"James." She said firmly, as she stepped away from him.

With her hands on her hips, and such a stern look on her face, James knew it was time to go. He chuckled.

"Okay, I guess I should be going."

"You can come back tomorrow."

"Can I now?" he teased.

"Yes."

"If you are **insisting**?"

Wendy rolled her eyes at him.

"Tomorrow....night?" he suggested, smiling. He waited until he saw her slight frown to respond.

"No? Not good for you?"

"You really are terrible, James."

"How about I call in the morning and bring you to my ship?"

"Really?" she said eagerly

"You won't mind being back there I take it?"

"No, it won't bother me. I would really like to see the ship again. I'd like to see your personal quarters and your things."

"I'd like to see you in my cabin." He grinned.

"You really need to say goodbye James."

"Good evening, Wendy." He took her hand and kissed it.

"Good evening, James."

James walked himself to the door.

"I'll be waiting for you James."

"I'll be here." He answered

After he closed the door, Wendy returned to the chair and flopped herself down in it.

_Oh, who knew? Who knew?_

What kind of trickery did God and Mother Nature play at? Why did something that felt like-that did-lead to such seriousness as 'Pregnancy and Childbirth'?

_Maybe if it didn't feel so good- no one would ever have the children...especially_ _not the women._

Wendy was certain of those facts; childbirth was painful, and dangerous, for women. Nature tricked you into the condition and then you were saddled with the consequences forever.

_You can't hike all matter of hills and forests swollen with child..._

"Not fair!" she said aloud

To be tempted with something so delicious and then be informed of its sobering secret. What a terrible grown up secret. How dare adults spend time telling children to behave and settle down when behind closed doors they were themselves-**playing**? What hypocrites! Another reason not to want to be one.

_But you did have to be one to play their games..._

Somewhere nearby, Tinkerbell nursed her sore head. She made sure not to repeat her mistake; she was well concealed this time. The surprise of being caught had put her into a bit of a panic. Before she knew what she was doing, she had flown straight up-indeed hitting her head on the window sash. She was more than a little angry with herself for having become so...engrossed with what she had seen.

_Very, very interesting events at Wendy's house. Wendy and the Captain certainly seemed to be enjoying each other's company...either that or the Captain had misplaced something of importance up Wendy's skirt._

James Hook was in a very good mood. In fact, he found himself whistling quite a nasty little tune as he pulled his dinghy across the beach towards the water.

"She's too good for you Hook."

James straightened himself and let go of the dinghy's ropes. He felt he was in just the perfect mood to speak with the young man.

"Peter," he turned to face the voice.

"She's too good to be assaulted by a schoolyard bully.' He said casually, "Do you want to address that?"

"She would have wanted **me** if it wasn't for you. I don't know what you've said to her-or done to her-but I'm not going to let it continue."

"If I wasn't certain that it would be complete insanity on your part, I would swear you are threatening me, boy."

"I am, Wendy is mine."

"It is my understanding she belongs to no one. I also believe she requested a truce, didn't she?"

"No one tells me what to do. I do what I want. I didn't give her any promise."

"Really? Maybe you didn't, but Wendy expects it anyway. She expects it from us both because she is a trusting person. I think her opinion of you may be clouded by sentimentality. She seems to believe in you, despite the fact that you have given her reason enough not to." James though he saw Peter's bravado fade alittle, "I, myself, did give her my word. I don't think you deserve anything from me- but do consider this a gift to you today Peter-get out of my sight. Leave now. Grow up-don't- I don't care what you do with yourself."

He walked very close to Peter.

"I'd like to extend the promise I made to her to you also. If you **ever** hurt her again, if you frighten or threaten her, I will come find you. I will find you and I will kill you. Do you understand? No restraint, no mercy, I will kill you."

There was silence on the beach as James waited to see if Peter would answer. He could see the conflict in the boy's face.

They could both sense the change in their game.

For James it was no longer a generic hatred of youth, or Peter Pan. Nor was it a hatred of himself and his own actions. It was anger that burned in him- and it burned alongside another emotion that was growing stronger in intensity. When James heard Peter speak he saw an image of upturned palms in his mind's eye.

"It doesn't matter what you say now Peter, not to me. I've made my decision-and I've told you of it. Wendy has also made herself clear to you. You...you have time Peter, a lot of time. Make the right decisions and have a life."

James turned and walked back to the dinghy. He picked up the rope handle and began moving back to the water.

Even as James rowed back to his ship, Peter stood watching him from the shore. He hadn't moved from the spot where their conversation had ended.

"Let it go Peter. Let it go, and it all begins." James said, knowing the boy couldn't hear his words of advice.

Wendy lay on her bed looking at her hands. She was re-playing every tender gesture James had made while cleaning them. It had been so easy to let the man take care of her. She had felt totally surrounded by feelings of comfort and protection.

_He is proving himself to me_

Unlike the young men she had known, James Hook did not try to impress with a puffed out chest or significant family names or transparent flattery. James Hook was courting her, Wendy Darling, in a manner devoid of fakery. He was doing it without trying, and it was working. Wendy could imagine spending a long time in the company of one Captain James Hook

_Is that what I want? Have I started to think of staying here...permanently? And what would I do here? What would I be? The Official Gatherer of Flowers? Gazer of Stars? Mistress of Captain James Hook?_

Pirate Captain's Mistress. Somehow that was managed to forget to jot down on any of her lists of things she wanted to be when she grew up. Thinking about it, she realized she'd never come up with anything to put on that list.

All she had was a 'Don't Want' list.

_Don't want to darn socks._

_Don't want to marry a boring lout._

_Don't want to wipe noses all day._

_Don't want to sit quietly and nod in agreement while some idiot drones on with a watered down, edited version of world events. Edited carefully to be easily digested by her little pea sized female brain!_

Wendy could now add a few more details of married life she didn't want, thanks to information supplied by James. Certain things her mother had alluded to now came into glaring focus. After nodding obediently she would be expected to retire to her husband's bedchambers and 'submit to his desires'.

That was a huge DON'T WANT.

_Don't want to perform any wifely duties that were described as 'something that just must be endured.'_

So then just maybe there was one thing she knew she wanted...because Wendy knew that when she began to think of her bare skin pressed against that incredible heat that was his skin..._that_ was something she wanted. She could feel an..._urge_ build in her when she began to let herself think of touching him. Even after he was gone, no longer touching her, no longer filling brain with a single thought of _moremoremore_...that was exactly what she found herself wanting. She wanted more, and she wanted it from James, James who responded to her every impassioned response he drew from her with what seemed to be certain joy. He had said he wanted it all from her...to be loved by her and to be allowed to be loved by him. It seemed to be an easier request to grant tonight than it had this morning.

Wendy sighed. It had been a very long day. She could feel the heavy weight of sleep demanding she close her eyes and submit to it.

_Such a long day..._

In the darkness it was still possible to make out the long lines of Wendy's legs, the curve of her calves. The moonlight illuminated her skin with a pearly glow. She slept peacefully, one leg slightly pulled up, the other stretched with toes pointed towards the edge of her bed. Her toes were just close enough to touch if he wanted.

The urge to touch those toes, to run his hand up her leg, was very strong. He knew that touching her would risk waking her, and waking her would surely wipe away the peaceful expression on her lovely face.

To his surprise, he felt tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. Embarrassed, even though no one could see them, he wiped them away with the back of his hand.

_To hold her in your arms while she smiles at you must be bliss. To see her face light up and..._

"And instead I made you cry," he whispered, "I'm sorry Wendy."

He knew he couldn't force that smile and have it be the same thing...he knew he wanted everything that a smile like that meant, everything that made it _be_.

"I'll let you have the chance you asked for Wendy, I promise."

And with those words said, Peter Pan left Wendy's house to begin the journey back to being Trustworthy Friend. It was someone who he hoped might once again be welcome in that house.

**A/N: Thanks to all my readers and especially those that have reviewed-it really does motivate!**


	13. Persimmons

**Disclaimer:Same stuff still applies-not mine-Barrie's.**

****

Wendy woke early the next day-she had things to do!

The first order of business was to inspect her clothes to see just how dirty they were.

_These are all pretty bad…_

Her worry was that nothing would be dry by the time James came to get her.

_I need to already be washing these._

She groaned as she grabbed all the clothing and gathered them up in her arms. She also pulled her blanket from the bed as she headed out the door.

It didn't take long to get to the small pool where she normally bathed. She quickly unbuttoned and stepped out of her drawers. She hung her only clothing that would remain unwashed on some nearby branches where they would stay dry. She walked back to the water and stepped in with the dirty clothing around her shoulders like a scarf. She was careful with each item, trying to keep them as dry as possible, washing only the dirtiest spots on each. When she was satisfied with her work, she waded out and laid each item out on a nearby shrub. She returned to the water to now wash herself.

She waded out farther this time and then submerged herself. She came back up and tilted her head back, letting her hair fan out in waves behind her. In contrast to the cool air, the water was warm and Wendy found it relaxing. She lifted her legs and let herself float on her back. She had an unobstructed view of the blue sky above.

_This is perfection…solitary bliss…contentment…but…no buts, just wash your hair Wendy._

She dipped her head back into the water, and then righted herself. She scrubbed her scalp briskly with her fingers. She re-dunked her head several times before she couldn't feel anymore grit beneath her fingertips. She squeezed out the excess water from her hair as she carefully stepped away from the waters edge. She felt goose bumps raise instantly as the air hit her wet skin. She picked up the blanket and wrapped it tightly around her cooled skin. She picked up her wet clothes and draped them over her arm. She hurried back to her house.

She found the best possible places to hang her clothing and hoped that they might be dry before James came to call. She realized as she adjusted the blanket for the fourth time that she had left her under drawers back at the spring. She gave up trying to simply wrap the blanket around her and instead knotted two corners together. She looked down at the results and realized it wouldn't do at all. This solution left a bare strip four inches wide straight down her body. She twisted it to the side-it still left a bare strip, but a much less dangerous one.

Her stomach growled.

_I'll kill two birds with one stone._

She knew that she could find her favorite fruit an equal distance away, but a little to the east. She could pick up her wayward undergarment on the way back. She headed back out onto one of the many time worn paths of the island. The sun really had warmed things up now, and Wendy was beginning to feel the effects. She began to loosely braid her hair as she walked to keep it from sticking to her shoulders and back. This was not enough to keep her comfortable, she realized, as sweat began to roll down her stomach. She peeled the blanket from her skin and flapped it back and forth trying to dry herself some. Still finding no relief, Wendy lifted the bottom of the blanket up all around to expose her legs knee high. The sweat was still trickling down between her breasts-making her recent bath seem like a total waste of time.

"Oh bloody hell!" she exclaimed as she worked furiously at the oh-so-secure knot she had made.

"SO much better!" she said as she released the knot and threw the entire blanket over her shoulder.

She could feel her own smile spread as she began to run the path. The air was cooling the sweat pleasantly as she moved. She leaped over a small obstacle-an exposed tree root-more for fun than necessity. She felt like an ancient Olympian, even though she knew women had not even been allowed to cheer on at those games, let alone participate in them.

_But this must have been how free those runners felt._

Her hair had now come completely undone from her impromptu braid. Wendy's curls flew behind her, bouncing off her shoulders and back.

"Victory is mine!" she shouted as she caught sight of the gleaming orange fruits she had come for. She twisted off the first ripe fruit she saw and bit into it greedily. The smooth deep orange skin snapped as her teeth sank through into soft flesh. The skin itself was slightly tart but the flesh was sugary sweet. Juice dripped down her chin as she chewed, and Wendy wiped it away with the back of her hand. She finished the first fruit quickly and selected a second to enjoy more leisurely. She dropped the blanket down beside a large tree and sat down on it.

She had no idea that sitting under a tree eating a piece of fruit while completely nude could be so much fun. She stretched out her legs and pointed her feet. She wiggled her toes and giggled. She felt giddy. There were some things that were so _easy_ here. This is when James' words began to creep back into her mind.

…_Unless this is all you want…_

_What's wrong with wanting the sun to warm your toes?_

Wendy sighed. She had finished the second piece of fruit and contemplated her now extremely sticky fingers. She popped one in her mouth and sucked it.

_Not too bad, it'll have to do for now._

She repeated the procedure with her other fingers and then ran her tongue down her wrist towards her forearm, following a trail of syrupy juice.

Finished with cleaning, she stood and began to gather fruit to bring back with her. She sang as she did so.

"…Tell me the tales that to me were so dear

Long, long ago, long, long ago

Sing me the songs I delighted to hear

Long, long ago, long, long ago…"

"Wendy?"

It was James' voice; it came from some distance behind her.

"Wait!" She yelled.

She grabbed the blanket- her gathered fruit rolled in all directions. Her face looked panicked as she quickly tried to re-wrap herself and tie another knot before James could see her.

James was smiling. He had seen her already, watched her lick herself-he almost lost his footing then-and had heard her singing. He had been stunned by her nakedness, mesmerized by her backside and the curve at the small of her back. He found himself wanting to kiss that spot, to feel its softness against his lips. Wendy's voice had removed him from his reverie. James had never heard her sing before; it had been another pleasant surprise. He found her singing voice rather sweet, albeit a little off key. James knew how Wendy would feel if she knew she was being watched, so that was when he had decided to let his presence be known to her.

He had to hold back his laughter as he watched her grab frantically for the blanket.

"Oh Wendy…"he murmured quietly. "Do you need any, um, assistance?" he said louder.

"NO." she said firmly as she tied what looked like an iron clad knot to James.

" I heard your voice and followed it. " He lied.

"I was getting some of these for us." She said as she picked up a few of the fallen fruits.

"Did you bring a basket?"

"No…I didn't think to remember one." She said a little guiltily.

"Well, pass a few here, I can certainly carry some."

"Yes." She said almost shyly as he approached her with his arm outstretched.

"These are rather good. I like them too." He said as he placed a few in his pockets. "And now you are on your way back?" he asked her.

" I have to stop at the spring. I, uh, left something behind there."

"Well, I'll be happy to accompany you there if you'll have me."

Wendy looked at James and he saw her brows draw together ominously. She was frowning at him.

"You are quite a piece of work Captain Hook."

"What's the matter?"

"You know you _saw_ me. I know you did."

"It is called being a gentleman Wendy. Did you _want_ me to make mention of it?" He raised one eyebrow, in the manner Wendy now found rather devastating, as he spoke.

"N-No…but…"

"Are you sure?" he stepped closer, "Because I could certainly make comment on the quality of your hidden treasures my dear."

"What?" Now Wendy's eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"Were you wishing for a compliment on how very fine your backside is?"

He had lowered his voice to a near whisper and was leaning close to her ear as he continued.

"That in seeing you in the all together I found you so irresistible that I might need to drop to my knees and beg" he paused as he let his lips brush fleetingly against the soft flesh at the top of her ear.

" …For my release and the surrender of your innocence to me…right here, right now? Hmm? Is that what I was supposed to do Wendy?"

Wendy's legs had that jelly-like feeling again. James' hot breath on her ear was sending blazing jolts of heat to that place somewhere beyond the pit of her stomach.

"I…I…don't know."

James just laughed.

"Come on, let's get to that spring, and back to your house," he reached for her hand, but she hesitated. He thought what she might be thinking. He smiled.

"I won't be begging there either…not just yet. I believe you wanted to see my ship today. I think proper etiquette is more clothing would be appropriate." He said to her.

'_And_ a_t least I'll be able to think straight again'_ was what he thought.

**A/N: Sorry the update took so long, I got a little stuck on how to tie some of the ideas together. This chapter does seem to be rather...fluffy though, and I hope no one minds.**

**To jay: I'm sorry, this story really does not follow the movie version of Peter Pan- I do not see my Capt. Hook as the same man as Mr. Darling. It is rather a 'suppose if' version of the story, as of course Hook is still alive. I don't really plan on the story heading in a 'Peter/Wendy direction' in the fashion you are probably hoping for. I appreciate that you took the time to read my story and leave commentary(even though you didn't leave an e-mail!).**

**Thank you to everyone else who has left a review. I am very glad you are enjoying reading this story, I'm having fun writing it.**


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